


Harem

by Choke-a-Bro (Vanya_Deyja)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Harem, M/M, Modern Royalty, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21615325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanya_Deyja/pseuds/Choke-a-Bro
Summary: Some traditions are just weird, others? Others are downright medieval. Noctis is aware he’s the Prince of a two thousand year old magical dynasty hand picked by gods and powered by a geode ominously titled ‘The Crystal’. He gets that. But he’s a modern eighteen-year-old boy so he spends most of his time thinking about triple A games, applying for university, and the new iphone. He doesn’t often inhabit his archaic role at the front of his mind.So when Ignis says he’s got applicants for his harem…
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 23
Kudos: 345





	Harem

Some traditions are just weird, others? Others are downright medieval. Noctis is aware he’s the Prince of a two thousand year old magical dynasty hand picked by gods and powered by a geode ominously titled ‘ _The Crystal_ ’. He gets that. But he’s a modern eighteen-year-old boy so he spends most of his time thinking about triple A games, applying for university, and the new iphone. He doesn’t often inhabit his archaic role at the front of his mind.

So when Ignis says he’s got applicants for his _harem_ …

Gladio laughs when Noctis spits up his soda across the kitchen table at his apartment but even his chuckle sounds bemused.

“Since when do I have a harem?” Noctis reels.

“Since you turned eighteen.” Ignis sighs, passing napkins to Gladio so he can have some help mopping up the tabletop while Noctis has an existential crisis.

“But…” Noctis feels a surge of confused frustration; “you told me I wasn’t allowed to date! All through high school _you said_ —”

“You’re not, technically.” Ignis maintains. “You are allowed to court a noble or royal for an official match and, now you are eighteen, you are permitted to have your own private harem. Individuals can apply for the position, you can give them various titles within the paramour hierarchy, you can ‘ _retire_ ’ them from ‘ _national service_ ’ when you’re done with them, you can give any children conceived sort rights…”

Noctis’ head is spinning.

He’s just sitting there, gaping at Ignis.

“W-what if I don’t want a harem?”

“It’s an ancient practice that’s difficult to dismiss. The council and various other governments will want the assurance that you have a healthy sex life when planning for the future.” Ignis tries to explain with that disgustingly reasonable tone. “Even King Regis maintains a harem officially.”

Soda goes spraying across the woodwork a second time.

Gladio confiscates Noctis’ drink until the conversation is over.

Noctis presses his fingers to his temples, sinking deeper into his seat. He’s mystified, that’s one emotion, but beyond that he’s horrifically embarrassed. Like, sure, he knew his love life would be national news but his sex life too?

“We have applicants from across Eos,” Ignis has the audacity to pull a pile of manila folders out of his briefcase. “Nobles, celebrities, average citizens…. They’ve all passed mandatory sexual health screening and background checks and—”

“C-can we just stop?” Noctis pleads tensely. “I do _not_ want to have this conversation.”

“It is something we have to check off the agenda.” Ignis maintains gently.

“I’m applying for university,” Noctis tries to drag them back to the twenty-first century, “can’t you just do it?”

“Uh, well…” Ignis clears his throat. “Who I would select and who _you_ would select might be two very different things.”

“Well, um,” Gladio laughs, “dinner was lovely, Iggy. If you guys don’t need me—”

“Sit your ass down.” Noctis snaps. “You are not abandoning me to this, mother fucker.”

Gladio’s ass slams back down in his seat, Shield swallowing under Noctis’ scrutiny.

“I know this must be uncomfortable Noctis,” Ignis tries to soften the blow, “but you’re—”

“If you say ‘ _but you’re a prince_ ’ I swear to god Ignis Scientia—” Noctis warns, ironically, in that voice he only gets when he’s going full royal.

“Just…” Ignis sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think of it as your own personal tinder. You have options; you can pick some people to officially put on the roster and we can forget about it for a while, you can get casual sex and retire them when you’re bored, you can even pursue something more traditionally romantic with Citadel backing but if you don’t pick someone the Council will harass both of us.”

Moaning Noctis buries his face in his hands.

“Okay, okay…” Noctis sighs, slumping. “Are there any bad choices?”

“No,” Ignis answers. “I deleted all the bad choices already.”

“Then leave me the files and I’ll…” Noctis winces, still a little mortified. “I’ll go through them, I guess.”

“By next week—” Ignis starts to outline a schedule.

“Yeah, yeah.” Noctis dismisses.

“Alright, we’re agreed?” Ignis extends his hand for a shake. They used to do pinkie promises when Noctis was little but now Ignis says ‘ _we shook on it, Noctis, you promised me_ ’ instead.

Sighing Noctis shakes his hand.

* * *

Noctis gives the stack of files the side eye for at least twenty-four hours. He avoids it with sleeping, gaming, even training but eventually his curiosity gets the better of him and he spreads the files out across the coffee table in the lounge.

Ignis has already divided them into two piles; male and female.

Every applicant has a ‘ _resume_ ’ with relevant history, including past sexual partners and _‘sexual predilections_ ’ (which seems to be old man talk for ‘ _dirty kinks_ ’). There’s even a head shot. Noctis groans, sitting on the floor between the coffee table and the couch.

He racks his mind. Does he just want a cheap thrill? A low stakes universe in which to lose his virginity? Or does he actually want to try and find someone he likes on more than a purely physical level?

Noctis chews his bottom lip.

He’s never been allowed to date and, frankly, he doesn’t think he could have sex with a stranger. He’s typically not even attracted to people until he knows their cup noodle preference and their most embarrassing childhood secret.

Okay, he’ll look for someone he can _like_.

It’s just like tinder, right?

A really expensive, fucked up, personal tinder.

That in mind he disregards the pile of female applicants entirely.

He wants a boyfriend.

He very quickly discovers Ignis has given him a wide range of options. Some of these guys aren’t in his age bracket. There’s even a thirty-five year old mercenary. Okay, okay… Noctis needs to trim. Does he want someone with loads more experience?

No, that’d be awkward. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s being tutored.

Okay, he cuts anyone with an extensive sexual history and, while he’s at it, he cuts anyone significantly older for the time being. He likes older guys, sure, but maybe not for his first outing.

Does he want a buff guy or a cute guy?

Guys like Gladio and Ignis are wicked hot, that’s true, but Noctis wants to feel like…

Like he’s got half a chance of calling the shots…?

Yeah, okay, buff guys are eliminated by their headshots.

That leaves him with a more manageable pile so he starts sorting.

He finds a Niff noble who’s wicked cute and seems to be interested in all sorts of exciting things. He hits a few of Noctis’ buttons and given his history it sounds like they might have some things in common. He knows how to fight, he knows royal protocol…

Noctis puts him to one side.

Someone who understands his struggle might be nice.

Likewise, however, someone _normal_ would be even better.

Noctis is almost at the bottom of the pile, coming to what are obviously less attractive choices in Ignis’ mind, when he—

Oh he’s _pretty_ …

Noctis lifts up the application.

His headshot is not professionally done in a studio but the composition of the image and the lighting are fantastic. It looks like he might’ve even taken the shot himself? Oh, yeah, he’s applying to study media and journalism. That figures.

His name’s Prompto Argentum. He’s a Lucian citizen but background check says he was adopted from Nifleheim which explains the very blonde hair. He’s Noctis’ age, a tiny bit younger, and his parents are quite well known charity workers.

His interests are very tempting. He likes video games, jogging, genre movies, indie music, new tech… Okay that could go horribly wrong, on multiple levels; like maybe he likes _Galactic Monsters_ instead of _Monsters from the Beyond_ but it’s a risk worth taking. Noctis thinks so at least.

His, uh, sexual predilections are interesting too. Praise kink, humiliation kink, submissive, limited sexual experience…

Noctis bites his bottom lip.

He glances back to the Niff noble sitting in his short list.

Prompto Argentum sounds dangerous but if he’s not a complete fuckboy he could be perfect. Like, made in a laboratory for Noctis kind of perfect. 

It might be worth the risk…?

Noctis sighs, gathering his nerve, and tucks the application into his brief case to run past Ignis at the Citadel tomorrow.

* * *

They have to go to a council meeting. It’s shit. Noctis’ Dad tends let himself be swayed by reasonable voices but Noctis is like two hundred percent more stubborn so he doesn’t take condescension from anyone and that always makes things tense. Because, on the one hand, Noctis is an eighteen year old kid but, on the other, he’s also the prophesized King of Kings so the council never knows quite how to manage him. They have to walk a fine line and Noctis’ Dad makes him walk his own fine line in response. It’s _awful_.

Eventually, like all awful things, the council meeting ends and Noctis retreats back to Ignis’ office to run through some other things. He needs to get his formal schedule for the month; public events, religious holidays, that kind of stuff.

“So…” Noctis clears his throat after a moment. “I went through those files…”

“Oh?” Ignis pauses, very careful not looking up from his laptop as if he’s worried he’ll spook Noctis.

“I found someone I’d like to…. put on the books, I guess?”

“Would you like a face-to-face interview before we make formal arrangements?” Ignis supposes.

“Yes, please.” Noctis decides.

“Who did you pick?” Ignis asks, genuinely curious.

Noctis fishes the profile out of his case and slides it across the table. Ignis picks it up and frowns, just gently.

“You said there weren’t any bad choices.” Noctis reminds him sternly.

“There weren’t,” Ignis promises, “he just wouldn’t have been my top pick for you. And I like to think I know you quite well.”

“Yeah, well…” Noctis shrugs.

“We’ll call him, organize a meeting. Why don’t you go train with Gladio? By the time you’re done I might have more information.”

Noctis consents.

He and Gladio still train regularly. Noctis has to be proficient in all kinds of combat and he needs to know how to fight with his Shield as they both grow and change. That said these days they mostly play fight. Noctis knows all the technical points and unless Gladio is trying to critique his form they spend most of their time trying to score points over each other.

Today when Gladio has their swords locked Noctis knows he doesn’t have the upper body strength to match Gladio in a test of brawn….

So he kicks him in the shins.

Gladio swears, losing focus, and in the next ten seconds Noctis has a blade at his throat.

Gladio freezes, blinking at him.

Noctis grins.

“Little underhanded, I know, but—”

“No, no, it’s good.” Gladio tells him, fluttering with something that might be pride. “You’ve got to play dirty out in the real world. Be clever. That was good, Noct.”

Noctis is floating on that compliment, feeling mighty proud of himself, when he struts back into Ignis’ office half an hour later fresh from his shower.

“So, Iggy, any word on—?” Noctis pauses, only now realizing Ignis is already engaged in conversation.

“Mister Argentum,” Ignis sits back, gesturing, “if I can introduce you to his Highness.”

Noctis fumbles for a second, startled, but Prompto Argentum pivots in the seat and smiles at him with these big baby blue eyes. He’s flushes, highlighting his freckles which are way prettier in person, and there’s just something so hopeful about his expression. It’s sickeningly endearing.

“Hi,” Noctis murmurs.

“Hi Highness,” Prompto greets sheepishly.

“Mister Argentum had some time in his schedule today.” Ignis explains. “I was hoping to surprise you, Highness, I hope that wasn’t overstepping?”

“No, it’s fine.” Noctis decides, mind whirring to catch up with the moment. “Were you going through the specifics?”

“Just some basics.” Ignis answers. “I was telling Mister Argentum, as you personally selected him, you might have some questions.”

Noctis glances between Ignis and Prompto. He’s worried about playing his cards too soon but he said he’d find someone he could like so there’s no point fucking around, right?

“Just a few,” he decides.

“Please,” Ignis beckons him to join Prompto sitting before Ignis’ desk.

“Right, so, Prompto, what university are you thinking?”

“Uh, well…” Prompto gathers his nerve visibly. “The University of Insomnia is so…classic, I guess? I want to go there but the Lucian College of the Arts probably has a better media program. Honestly I’m not sure.”

Ignis nods, seems to think that’s a reasonable question. Good, with Ignis blindsided Noctis charges quickfire into the questions he actually wants to ask;

“Favorite pizza place?”

Ignis becomes immediately perplexed but Noctis hurries Prompto to answer quickly.

“Uh—Harriet’s?” Prompto answers dumbly.

“Good choice,” Noctis concedes, charging into the next question before either man can stop him; “Automatic Sisters or The City Falls?”

Ignis looks like Noctis just spoke in tongue but Prompto gets it.

“Oh, man, Automatic Sisters.” Prompto answers.

“Why?” Noctis frowns.

“The City Falls has a great first album but that shit got weird after the lead vocalist fired half the band.” Prompto replies quickly.

“Point.” Noctis permits. “ _Galactic Monsters_ or _Monsters from the Beyond_?”

“ _Monsters from the Beyond_ ,” Prompto snorts as if its painfully obvious. “Sixth movie.”

“ _Vampire Frat Party_?” Noctis challenges.

“Sixth movie in the canon not the movie they titled as sixth in the franchise.” Prompto counters expertly.

“ _Mermaid Wedding,_ ” Noctis nods sagely.

Ignis is plainly very lost.

“Assassin’s Creed?” Noctis continues.

“Yes,” Prompto agrees, “but if we’re talking favorites the console version of King’s Knight is…” Prompto makes a passionate gesture.

Noctis nods slowly.

Prompto Argentum is perfect.

“Ignis, hire this man.”

”I— What…?” Ignis takes a second, he looks like he’s loading. “Yes Highness.”

“Do I still have dinner with Dad?” Noctis glances, feeling strangely Zen all of a sudden. Now the stars have aligned what’s there to be worried about?

“Yes Highness,” Ignis nods, “he’ll be expecting you soon.”

“Alright, I better go then,” Noctis decides. “One more thing before I go?”

“Anything Highness?” Prompto tilts his head.

“Free sample?” Noctis supposes.

Ignis frowns, confused again, but Prompto seems to get it instantly because he breaks into a soft grin.

“Of course Highness,” he offers.

Noctis stands and leans over Prompto’s chair. He pulls the blonde close and Prompto pushes up into the arm of his chair and very suddenly their lips are touching. Warm, soft, comforting, welcoming… Noctis feels at home instantly. Like Prompto’s mouth is already his. Like he could kiss him a million more times and never get sick of it.

Cupping the back of his head, fingers in his hair, Noctis nuzzles their noses and Prompto coos.

“Noct is fine,” he promises softly.

“Noct,” Prompto smiles.

“Later Ignis!” Noctis waves.

Ignis audibly sighs.


End file.
